Saturday, January 21, 2006

Non-political Parties

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.
Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen
of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.

Tequila may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur,table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Tequila… Leave Shyness Behind.

May those who love us, love us.
And to those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we will know them by their limping.


Sir Oolius said...

Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine!

Rough night Friday?

dailyread said...

Actually, my last exposure to massive quantities of Tequila resulted in a near-death experience that took twelve months or so to pay off. That was three years ago, and I still have a headache.

This post is the result of an e-mail I received from a friend who thought it was humorous. I will read it a few times with warm and fuzzy memories, but ultimately use it as a reminder of my inability to party with the big boys.

I think that was a Friday.